I’ve been dealing with relationship loss the past few months, it’s hard for me to open up to anyone about the feeling. I try to write in my journal when the wave of sadness comes over me and I literally described it as feeling like I’m mourning for someone who’s still alive, like a piece of me has been ripped away. I’ve been dealing with it in silence and it can be very lonely. Thank you so much for the advice and making me feel validated and seen.
I am seeing this becoming my daily grounding read as I navigate this loss myself. I don’t know how to feel moment to moment. I left my best friend because he couldn’t make me feel certain about our future, and I’m devastated. He was my world.
Thank you for sharing your reflections as so many of us try to make sense of it all.
Kait, I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel your bravery through the screen, I really do. I am glad this piece helps ground you. There is no wrong thing you could feel moment to moment — we feel it all, I think. These threshold crack us right open. The world ends, and somehow, we find a way to piece it back together. But in the ending of it all, it just feels like... how? How will it come back together. Sorry for my delay in responding Kait, but I wanted to say thank you for reading <33
I am so scared to make the next move, to walk through the door. The pain, the aloneness, the aging alone...all of it. This reading offers comfort. Thank you.
this was so profound. i love the use of IFS and the blend of personal reflections and psychology. this came at the right time for me, navigating the end of my engagement to someone I will always love with my entire soul, something that’s so difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it. thank you for sharing ♥️
So so difficult to explain to someone who hasn't walked through it. I am glad the essay found you Priya - it sounds like at just the right time. Keep being brave, and staying by your own side. Sending you care <33
going through my own relationship loss, this is something that i absolutely needed to read right now. thank you for sharing and for making me feel so much less alone in my experience.
Dear Hannah, thank you so much for sharing from your portal so openly and vulnerably, which is to say–courageously.
I am in this portal too, this morning I tried to do a somatic practice I was told would help me in some ways, and I was crying-dancing in my bedroom as my dog looked at me completely confused. I then stroked my own face and hands and told myself it’s all okay and that I’ve got this.
Leaving out of love is the hardest thing of all, it defies common sense, bends all the truths we were taught about life, and, as you write, leaves us open to a love that remains but cannot be cultivated as we dreamed it would.
With you in this pain. When you hold your own hand, you’re not alone doing it. Perhaps all of us holding our own hands, stroking our own faces, are in some ways, offering that to each other also.
Justyna, your comment... thank you so much <33 I am familiar with the confused expression of a pet watching my own dancing, hehe, it's the best. It warms me to hear you're finding ways to be present with yourself physically. The weirder and the more unfamiliar they feel, the better - in my experience! Wishing you well <33
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed these words and these thoughts more than I can express! I’m also reading the comments and crying at my desk because I now feel so much less alone in this weird, wild situation. Sending hugs to all!
Emily... hugs....You are definitely not alone, but gosh can it be difficult to truly internalize that. Many have walked through this threshold, and we survive. We are changed, yes - we are evolved by it in profound ways. Continue being brave.
Lezel, thank you so much for reading!! <33 Finding small ways to create structure, and to feel a sense of control, is really important for me -- that's grounding work.
Thank you for writing this. I separated from my partner of almost a decade several years ago for these reasons - we had just fallen out of compatibility, I couldn’t envision our future, we needed very different things as we aged and couldn’t give them to each other. But I did and still do love him deeply as a person. At the time I described it like surgically removing one of my arms. It was terrible. But it had to happen for both of us to take the next step. Through a LOT of work on both sides we’ve managed to stay very good friends / chosen family, but it’s difficult work emotionally. Looking my history so directly in the eye is a stunning and painful learning experience. There was a time when I was convinced my life would end without him, and now I believe my life would’ve ended if I’d stayed with him. Getting myself through that impossible experience has done wonders for my self esteem, my friendships, my interests, everything. There is SO MUCH LIFE waiting on the other side ❤️❤️
thank you for this. I'm walking through this portal myself. Helps to hear others have survived what feels like death -- ending a decades long marriage because there was no growth, too many attacks to the integrity of the partnership (deaths of parents, loss of pets, children moving away, cancer diagnoses, not knowing how to come back to each other after a betrayal)... "falling out of compatibility" like you say, accepting we are different people now and still deeply love each other. i needed to hear there is SO MUCH LIFE on the other side... when paying attention to the whispers of a silenced heart feels dangerous and the unknown is calling like a siren. when we face aging alone... when we go off the cultural script of "together forever". Facing ourselves with courage is the hardest thing, and then saying what we know and want and believing ourselves is the next hardest. Thank you. Thank you.
I didn’t want this piece to end so I read slower. Wonderfully written, deeply thought provoking. I love when I read something and depending the day/my mood there is a different message waiting for me to happen across it.
Fucking hell this was so beautiful! "Togetherness is no promise of whatever it is we are seeking—joy, self-actualization, growth. Togetherness is just togetherness, it may not be a deliverance from anything. And so we shut our eyes tight and jump, trusting that there is a Future Self on the other side who will catch us, even if we haven’t met her yet."
Thank you for sharing these words with the world ❤️
You came as a life line at the moment I needed these words. I feel less alone in navigating thru the portal of grief. Thank you.
I’ve been dealing with relationship loss the past few months, it’s hard for me to open up to anyone about the feeling. I try to write in my journal when the wave of sadness comes over me and I literally described it as feeling like I’m mourning for someone who’s still alive, like a piece of me has been ripped away. I’ve been dealing with it in silence and it can be very lonely. Thank you so much for the advice and making me feel validated and seen.
I am seeing this becoming my daily grounding read as I navigate this loss myself. I don’t know how to feel moment to moment. I left my best friend because he couldn’t make me feel certain about our future, and I’m devastated. He was my world.
Thank you for sharing your reflections as so many of us try to make sense of it all.
Kait, I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel your bravery through the screen, I really do. I am glad this piece helps ground you. There is no wrong thing you could feel moment to moment — we feel it all, I think. These threshold crack us right open. The world ends, and somehow, we find a way to piece it back together. But in the ending of it all, it just feels like... how? How will it come back together. Sorry for my delay in responding Kait, but I wanted to say thank you for reading <33
I am so scared to make the next move, to walk through the door. The pain, the aloneness, the aging alone...all of it. This reading offers comfort. Thank you.
this was so profound. i love the use of IFS and the blend of personal reflections and psychology. this came at the right time for me, navigating the end of my engagement to someone I will always love with my entire soul, something that’s so difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it. thank you for sharing ♥️
So so difficult to explain to someone who hasn't walked through it. I am glad the essay found you Priya - it sounds like at just the right time. Keep being brave, and staying by your own side. Sending you care <33
Perfectly timed, beautiful, sensitive, aware ❤️🩹
going through my own relationship loss, this is something that i absolutely needed to read right now. thank you for sharing and for making me feel so much less alone in my experience.
Dear Hannah, thank you so much for sharing from your portal so openly and vulnerably, which is to say–courageously.
I am in this portal too, this morning I tried to do a somatic practice I was told would help me in some ways, and I was crying-dancing in my bedroom as my dog looked at me completely confused. I then stroked my own face and hands and told myself it’s all okay and that I’ve got this.
Leaving out of love is the hardest thing of all, it defies common sense, bends all the truths we were taught about life, and, as you write, leaves us open to a love that remains but cannot be cultivated as we dreamed it would.
With you in this pain. When you hold your own hand, you’re not alone doing it. Perhaps all of us holding our own hands, stroking our own faces, are in some ways, offering that to each other also.
Please take care ❤️ I’m sending a big long hug
Justyna, your comment... thank you so much <33 I am familiar with the confused expression of a pet watching my own dancing, hehe, it's the best. It warms me to hear you're finding ways to be present with yourself physically. The weirder and the more unfamiliar they feel, the better - in my experience! Wishing you well <33
❤️❤️❤️
One of the strongest writers in Canada right now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed these words and these thoughts more than I can express! I’m also reading the comments and crying at my desk because I now feel so much less alone in this weird, wild situation. Sending hugs to all!
Emily... hugs....You are definitely not alone, but gosh can it be difficult to truly internalize that. Many have walked through this threshold, and we survive. We are changed, yes - we are evolved by it in profound ways. Continue being brave.
This is such a beautiful piece of work. I don’t know how it crossed my feed today in 2025 but am grateful!
I wonder how it found you! I am grateful it did. The internet can serve us and our path in such mysterious ways sometimes! Thank you for reading
Finding small ways to create a sense of control feels like a major source of grounding.
Every word in this post is healing. The articulation of things that are difficult to express, feel and experience. Thank you.
Lezel, thank you so much for reading!! <33 Finding small ways to create structure, and to feel a sense of control, is really important for me -- that's grounding work.
Thanks for your wisdom. I'm so glad that you're practising kindness to yourself.
Thank you for writing this. I separated from my partner of almost a decade several years ago for these reasons - we had just fallen out of compatibility, I couldn’t envision our future, we needed very different things as we aged and couldn’t give them to each other. But I did and still do love him deeply as a person. At the time I described it like surgically removing one of my arms. It was terrible. But it had to happen for both of us to take the next step. Through a LOT of work on both sides we’ve managed to stay very good friends / chosen family, but it’s difficult work emotionally. Looking my history so directly in the eye is a stunning and painful learning experience. There was a time when I was convinced my life would end without him, and now I believe my life would’ve ended if I’d stayed with him. Getting myself through that impossible experience has done wonders for my self esteem, my friendships, my interests, everything. There is SO MUCH LIFE waiting on the other side ❤️❤️
thank you for this. I'm walking through this portal myself. Helps to hear others have survived what feels like death -- ending a decades long marriage because there was no growth, too many attacks to the integrity of the partnership (deaths of parents, loss of pets, children moving away, cancer diagnoses, not knowing how to come back to each other after a betrayal)... "falling out of compatibility" like you say, accepting we are different people now and still deeply love each other. i needed to hear there is SO MUCH LIFE on the other side... when paying attention to the whispers of a silenced heart feels dangerous and the unknown is calling like a siren. when we face aging alone... when we go off the cultural script of "together forever". Facing ourselves with courage is the hardest thing, and then saying what we know and want and believing ourselves is the next hardest. Thank you. Thank you.
I didn’t want this piece to end so I read slower. Wonderfully written, deeply thought provoking. I love when I read something and depending the day/my mood there is a different message waiting for me to happen across it.
Fucking hell this was so beautiful! "Togetherness is no promise of whatever it is we are seeking—joy, self-actualization, growth. Togetherness is just togetherness, it may not be a deliverance from anything. And so we shut our eyes tight and jump, trusting that there is a Future Self on the other side who will catch us, even if we haven’t met her yet."
Thank you for sharing these words with the world ❤️